What kind of males disrespect women? A hypothesis.
Simply put – Respect is a feeling of admiration or reverence towards a person. This is a definition of the term ‘respect’. Obviously the ‘feeling of being respectful’ does not come easy and depends of many factors…several factors in fact. Firstly we need to know one thing – Respecting someone or feeling respectful towards someone does not happen overnight. As it is commonly heard – Respect is to be earned.
Then again if a person has earned ‘respect’ from a certain section…it is highly possible that the same person is highly disrespected by another section of the society! So ‘respect’ is a relative term? Now if a person is respected by some and hated/ disrespected by others then he or she must be a hypocrite…and hypocrites are not respectable entities…definitely not – isn’t it?! So who is respectable…if at all anyone is ….??!!
Let us take a general mass to understand this respectability factor. Let us examine men vs. women. So let’s begin to discuss the topic ::
What kind of men disrespect women?
What are the factors that define the sense of respect in you?
- Family background and culture::
Behaviour of men of the family
The first encounter of a human (both male and female) is with the mother and then the father. If it is a joint family, then many relatives, friends etc. So far, so good. The infant grows gradually imbibing his environment and learning the ways of the world from it.
So if the father (rather men) of the family is aggressive and misbehaves with his wife – the child will develop a sense of disrespect for women. If a son grows up watching his mother being humiliated and beaten day in and day out, he will understand that this is the correct way to behave with women. Children will learn from parents because the formative years of children are with their parents. So the father’s behaviour with the mother (his wife) is very important for the child. Relatives too play a vital role in shaping up the personality of the child. If generally the women of a household are treated as maid servants only who are born to cook, serve and please males – then be rest assured that the sons of such a family will grow up to be ruthless brutes who will only know to use and throw women. Such males can never ever respect a woman if they have grown up watching exploitation of women! Also if fathers are drunkards, brothel visitors, wife beaters….& the family life is a total mess – under such circumstances, you cannot expect a decent, sober and respectful personality to grow. Such sons eventually take after their fathers and ruin more women!
Those who unfortunately grow up in some orphanage – without love of mother or father have a very difficult life indeed. Whoever they grow up with, they usually behave like them.
Behaviour of women of the family
What I am going to write now may come as a rude shock to many because the Indian minds are not ready to listen to anything against the mother figure. Indians know only one thing – A mother is to be worshipped – she has after all kept you in her womb and created you with her blood etc…she has gone through pain, she has lost her figure and even her health just to bring you to this earth…so how can you write anything against the mother!?
Well, I do agree to all the above – Mothers are great no doubt but unfortunately just by bringing an infant to earth is not enough – he/she has to be looked after properly and a major role of character and personality building of the child depends on the mother. We all know that there are many kinds of women – flirtatious…cheap…readily available – also known as ‘desperate housewives’ etc. This is nothing new or shocking – the social networks are full of profiles of such women who blatantly write that they are married and are looking for part time lovers etc. Remember that such women also become mothers…just to keep a back-up – they get married to any random male who will provide her with the luxury and basic amenities and she will continue with her flirtatious escapades.
So when the son of some such ‘readily available to all’ female grows up, he will understand and think that all that women want is fun in the form of multiple sex partners! If his sister is born in the family, she will probably take after her mother and start her sex-life pretty early…maybe from the age of 14 or 15…consensual sex I mean – so a male from some such family of ‘cheap females’ can never respect a woman! He will see them as ‘sex objects’ because the women he has grown up with gave him the understanding that females are crazy for sex…and they can dive on bed with just anyone – for either fun or maybe money! Sons with such greedy, lustful family females usually grow up to be flirtatious womanizers. Obviously such males, who treat women as a sex object, can never respect any woman.
Loveless family environment
We have heard many cases – esp. in India, how parents force to marry their sons and daughters to the person of their liking. In many cases, just because dowry is more, so the son is forced to marry the woman unwillingly! Similarly, just because the man is having a bungalow and a steady income, the daughter is wed off in a haste!! It is quite possible that their tastes do not match at all but just because they are married, they have to compromise all their lives. Children born under such circumstances usually turn into weaker personalities because of lack of the major ingredient required to build a strong personality – that is LOVE!
- Environmental factors
Now the child goes out and mixes with people – from shopkeepers, to school peons, to bus drivers to conductors, to neighbours, to class mates, to teachers – all of them give their bit into making his personality. It is said by child psychologists that the first 7 years are very important for the child as they imbibe maximum personality traits during this time. So obviously the parental qualities are more dominating in the child. But there can be many circumstances at home front too. If it is a joint family then chances are that the child will imbibe qualities of the ones who spend more time with him. Like in many families the grandparents look after the grandchildren – so the possibility of the child to take after his grandparents is not surprising!
Similarly in nuclear families, working wives often leave their children with the domestic helper or the maid/ governess. Under such circumstances, the child picks up personality traits of the domestic helper. We all know the kind of environment the maids come to work from – poverty stricken – living hand to mouth…they have greed, jealousy, sadness, dissatisfaction…such personality traits creep in the child. That is why often parents are shocked to see their adolescent children misbehave with them, are unruly etc….they are that way because of the lack of quality time spent during his formative years!
So while the child is imbibing his environmental qualities, his exposure to various incidents and stories regarding women will make him decide whether he will eventually respect a woman or just treat her like an object! Therefore we should be aware of the kind of social environment we live in.
Television, films, story books, novels form a different world for the child. Whatever is encouraged in the media is generally taken as the RIGHT thing – since many people are doing it and since it is shown on TV/ films – it also means that it is acceptable for the mass.
Now we all know what kind of derogatory images the pimp industry propagates about women! They know the weakness of humans and they are minting money by making some ‘readily available greedy female’ to dance to their tunes! And the sex starved males go bonkers viewing the greedy she-devil showing her booties ….etcetera in public!
Result: Well result is even if the parents, relatives, friends, teachers have given the best of experience to the individual….but still if he is a weak personality…there are chances that he will dive headlong into the mesmerising media HELL and entertainment world crap and ruin his life….while ruining the lives of the women who come in his life! You see such weak personality males who get swayed by the glitz of the glamour world often expect women to behave as the models and actresses behave on screen …..which is downright cheap and derogatory! The actresses pose or act shamelessly because they get paid for it…but the naïve fools take their acting as something that will really happen to them……raised expectations that fail to meet in real life..resulting in rapes and domestic violence!